Christmas can be wonderful. It can also be one of the loneliest times of the year.
And if this is your first Christmas alone, you are not the only one feeling that way. There is something about Christmas that can make being alone feel a little more pronounced.
Everywhere you look, there are images of happy families, couples, festive gatherings and
perfectly coordinated Christmas pajamas.
But real life doesn’t always look like the Christmas adverts.
Perhaps you’re recently bereaved. Maybe you’re divorced, separated, newly single or facing Christmas with grown-up children who have made other plans. Perhaps you’ve always been single and suddenly find yourself wondering what you’ll do when everyone else seems to have somewhere to go.
Whatever your circumstances, facing your first Christmas alone can bring up a whole mixture of emotions.
And here’s something I’d like you to remember: You don’t have to pretend to love Christmas, but you don’t have to write it off either.
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Give Yourself Permission to Feel Whatever You Feel
If you’re grieving, Christmas can bring back memories and reminders of the person who is missing. If you’re newly single, you might be adjusting to traditions that suddenly look very different.
And if you’re simply on your own, you might find yourself feeling left out when everyone else seems to be celebrating.
There is no correct way to feel.
You might want company. You might want peace and quiet. You might want to escape the whole thing and book a flight somewhere sunny!
All perfectly valid! Just don’t put pressure on yourself to create the perfect Christmas. Start by working out what YOU actually want.
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Don’t Wait for Someone to Invite You
This is something I talk about a lot. We can spend an awful lot of time waiting for someone to make the first move.
Waiting for an invitation. Waiting for someone to remember we’re on our own. Waiting for somebody to suggest a plan.
But what if we took the initiative?
Invite a friend for lunch. Arrange a coffee date. Suggest a Christmas walk. Ask someone else who might be on their own what they’re doing.
And remember, there are plenty of other people who might be feeling exactly the same way but are reluctant to say it. Sometimes all it takes is one person to make the first move.
Come to an event or on a trip with me!
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Make Some New Traditions
Christmas doesn’t have to look the same every year.
Perhaps this is the year you go away. Maybe you book a lovely hotel, enjoy a festive break or spend Christmas somewhere completely
different.
You could volunteer, organise a Christmas dinner with friends, go for a long winter walk or treat yourself to something you’ve always wanted to do. You might even decide that Christmas Day is just another day and celebrate on a different date.
There are no rules!
And if you fancy spending the afternoon in your pajamas watching films and eating chocolate, that’s fine too. The important thing is that you make choices rather than feeling that Christmas is simply happening to you.
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Find Something to Look Forward To
One of the hardest parts of loneliness can be having nothing in the diary.
Especially during the winter months, when the evenings are dark and everyone seems to disappear into their own homes. So give yourself something to look forward to.
Book a wellness experience. Arrange a weekend away. Join a group activity. Plan a little adventure for January.
Sometimes having something lovely on the horizon makes all the difference.
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Remember That You’re Not the Only One
There are more people spending Christmas alone than we might imagine.
Some are widowed. Some are divorced. Some are single by choice. Others have family living abroad or circumstances that mean Christmas looks very different this year. And many would love a little company but don’t know where to find it.
This is why I believe so strongly in shared experiences and creating opportunities for people to connect.
You don’t need to arrive with a friend. You don’t need to know everybody. Often the nicest experiences begin when you turn up on your own.
You’re not alone.
A Little Christmas Reminder
If this is your first Christmas alone, please don’t measure your Christmas against somebody else’s.
You might cry. You might laugh. You might miss someone terribly. You might discover that you actually enjoy a little freedom.
All of those things can exist together.
Be kind to yourself, reach out to others and don’t be afraid to make plans.
And if you know someone who might be spending Christmas alone, perhaps this is a good time to pick up the phone and invite them for a coffee. A little thoughtfulness can mean an awful lot.
Because Christmas isn’t just about who is sitting around your table. It’s about connection, kindness and making room for new memories.
And remember, your life doesn’t stop because your circumstances have changed.
There is still so much living to do.
Sinéad x
